Todays across a week’s worth of conversation and happenings, So I’m going to try and tie the thoughts together. It’s Sunday, but it feels like it’s been a blur of a week.
I watched a full blown break up on the metro today, it was crazy. They’d been on the drink and they had a massive row, it was awful. Classic reactions from everyone on board mind, little eye contact and looking out the window moving away from the epicenter. I wondered about it all the ride home as she got off the train and he followed. I kind of hope they were alright actually, seemed like they had things to sort out.
It’s really useless when people don’t talk before that point of it blowing up. There’s plenty written about it, the power of talk. Slowing down to think about it all isn’t easy, I mean I do think it’s gotten a lot worse in recent years. Relationships are a lot harder to understand, but it always boils down to talk. I heard some teenagers talking about their snapchats and the meaning of it all, I remember this happening with top 8 on myspace.
Yes, myspace… anyways the false sense of an gaining an ego boost through someone else bores me. I had this conversation with a new mate the other day… why do I need to know about your life choices? like her bug was exactly the same as mine. We found common ground in people posting about being vegan and my loathing of weight loss posts. Now I don’t get it as much now only having Instagram however it leaks through every now and again.
I’ve been reading some papers around identity this week, you know it’s funny how we all claim to want this utopian idealistic version of a human and its never the reality. I lost perspective this week, I got in a really annoyed mindset with what had happened. Yet the world had a way of waking me back up and telling me to slow down. So that’s what today is about really just existing in your own head isn’t healthy really.
Openly talking about things and ask the questions of why and taking a better look at things is valuable. I mean like that break up on the train if they aren’t happy? why shouldn’t they be? I’ve been deleted from peoples lives and I’ve done the same, I think it’s just growth now nothing personal. Simply finding balance, slowing down and realising what you really want. I think I found it again this week, or a way to be self-satisfied and balanced. I heard once that friendships go in cycles of seven years It makes sense I think.
This blogs been kind of that I reckon in a way, reflecting on life, you know a place to just think out loud and leave on here. Bhabha (1994 or 1995) describes it better than I could. ‘ Newness’ that is not part of the past or present but a need for translation, he writes a lot about the value of culture and where we can find it. However it is easily translated into modern society, if we think of the idea of credit we live beyond our means, to psychologically please our mind with stuff. Just to get something, to be better to quench our thirst for capitalism, turns out it’s failed or is failing. I’m a sucker for shiny things, I just wonder if I actually need something first these days.
It could also be translated to understanding ‘the greater purpose’ and what you want from life. That experience gives a better perspective on a situation like a bad cup of coffee, being ill or a bad date. You soon realise that you won’t drink there again, you’ll recognise the signs of being ill and you’ll realise what made it a bad date. I’ve taken to reading further afield lately about philosophy and tackling it a bit further. I wonder about it all quite a lot really, it’s funny the Socratic methods and terminology are probably how I balance my head. Also, Buddhism is something I’m becoming more and more interested in nowadays. Looking for a better set of answers to what I see and hear around me up north is just escapism sometimes, it might come in useful one day.
The playlist this week:
- 99 red balloons – Nena
- American boy – Estelle feat Kanye
- Picasso Baby – Jay Z
- Ain’t no sunshine – Bill Withers
- Knock em out – Lily Allen
- Only God can judge me now – 2Pac
- Hot Pepper – Action Bronson
- Just Kissed My Baby – The Meters
- God Only Knows – The Beach Boys
- Our house is Dadless – Kid British ( I miss this lot).
- It Ain’t Hard to Tell – Nas
- Grandma’s Hands – Bill Withers
- Room in here – Anderson .Paak
I’m feeling very nostalgic today, so I’m vinyl shopping for Lily Allen records and some new coffee.
Take a second to slow down, it takes a second to be human and being human is enough.